


Fall

by blkkskknhed



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor - Fandom
Genre: Betrayal, Character Death, Hurt, Incest, Love, Mentions of past mpreg, Multi, Romance, Secrets, Violence, War, Warning: Loki
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-08
Updated: 2013-12-12
Packaged: 2017-12-28 19:13:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/995517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blkkskknhed/pseuds/blkkskknhed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Is this wrong?” Thor whispered, his mouth hovering over Loki’s parted lips.</p><p>Loki laughed, the happiest sound in the universe and pushed closer so that Thor’s hands would fall away and their chests were flush against one another.</p><p>“It is not right.” He mused.</p><p> </p><p>Or:</p><p>The story of how Asgard's royal family fell apart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Epilogue

**Author's Note:**

> Ok. So this is just a short taster of what is to come. Will only be continuing with the story if there is sufficient interest, which I know, is really selfish, but with college and everything i need motivation to keep updating stories and comments and kudos do that so please! Lemme know! <3

He closes his eyes and listens to the drip, drip, drip of the murky rainwater splashing against the clear, glass ceiling. The air around him is heavy and dank, and if he squeezes his eyes shut very tightly, he can almost feel the heat of the Asgardian sun warming his aching bones. 

The sounds of heavy footsteps come long before a figure appears. He knows immediately whom they belong to. He keeps his eyes closed and he remains very still, breathing deeply, trying to convince his unwanted visitor that he is sleeping.

“Brother?”

Loki almost flinches at the word and cracks one eye open. 

Balder the Bold, the Beautiful, the Brazen, the Brilliant, the Betrayer stands before him in all his golden glory. His blue eyes, so like another Asgardian Prince’s, watch him steadily. A small smile threatens to spill across his plump lips as he leans against the glass of Loki’s cage.

“How are you faring?” he asks kindly.

“How do you think?” Loki spits back before he can stop himself. “How do you think I am, brother? I am chained here like some sort of animal, like some wild-child. I look as though I have not seen water since the drought of the Early Years. I can smell myself slowly dying, rotting away in some glass box, being jeered at by mere men that forget their place.”

Loki rattles at his chains angrily and glares up at the one who turned his back on him, the one who acts as though he cannot understand Loki’s fury. Balder blinks calmly before shrugging.

“You only need promise Father-”

“I shall do no such thing!” Loki hisses, his entire body going taut as he pulls at his chains. “I would rather die in this dome than abide by his tyrannical laws!”

Balder raises an eyebrow and takes a step back, his expression blank as he offers Loki a small, sad smile.

“Then you really are as ill as they say you are. Perhaps this box is the best thing for you.”

Loki gapes at him.

“You would let your own brother rot in a cell, and for what? To honour your backwards laws, to keep with your narrow-minded morals?”

Balder stiffens slightly, his eyes narrowing as he regards Loki coolly.

“You deserve not my sympathy, Loki. You have crossed lines that were never meant to be crossed.”

Loki laughs loudly.

“ And I will cross them again once I am finally freed from this box of insanity! I will cross them over and over so soon the lines shall fade and be worn and we will no longer be forced to keep with idiotic laws enforced by those who do not understand!”

Loki tugs at the heavy metal binds once again and snarls in frustration as he fails to move even an inch. Balder leans closer to the glass, a pitying expression on his face.

“He shall never be king. Not after what you forced him to do, not after you tainted the Golden Son of Asgard. Keeping you here is really in your best interests, Loki. They want your blood for what you did to him.” He says quietly. 

“I would rather they tear me to shreds than be locked in here.” 

Balder laughs darkly.

“I have the strangest feeling that that could be arranged, dearest brother.”

 

.

 

It happened over two millenniums ago. It had been a calm summer’s night in Asgard. The Great Battle between the Aesir and the Jotun’s had finally come to an end and all of Asgard was awaiting eagerly the return of their king and his warriors.

Frigga had felt it the moment Odin stepped into their chambers with the tiniest of bundles held carefully in his arms. Thor had been sitting on her lap as she plaited his thick blonde hair. His own blue eyes had widened with curiosity as he watched his father approach them slowly, the bundle in his arms squirming slightly.

“Odin.” Frigga had whispered, her breath catching as she met her husband’s guilty gaze.

“I could not let him die.” Odin had argued softly. “Not when he is of Asgard.”

Odin lowered the bundle slowly, revealing a tiny babe with eyes the largest coins and the colour of emeralds. His skin was as white as snow and his lips the palest shade of peach.

“Who is this?” Thor had lisped as he peered into the blanket anxiously.

“Your brother.” Odin had answered. “His name is Loki.”

Thor frowned and looked over his shoulder at his mother.

“But you have not birthed a babe?” he argued.

Frigga pursed her lips tightly and forced down the dreaded tears that threatened to fall.

“Say goodnight to your brother, Thor.” She had said firmly, her eyes never leaving her husbands.

“But I am not tired!” Thor exclaimed.

“Bed.” Odin ordered in that booming voice of his and Frigga had wanted to scratch his eyes out. 

She kissed Thor on top of his soft head and ushered him out of the room with his nanny. He had been reluctant to leave, unable to tear his eyes away from the small babe now wriggling and kicking about on the bed freely once Odin freed him of his heavy blankets.

“What of the mother?” Frigga had snapped.

“Dead. He was left to die alongside her in the cold. It was fate that made me cross his path, I am sure of it.” Odin answered earnestly.

Frigga glanced down at the child below her and felt that uneasy feeling settle itself deep within her stomach. Loki watched her with large, unblinking eyes and when Frigga finally touched him, she felt her soul weep. She shot a look at Odin as images flashed before her eyes, scenes that were yet to pass, memories yet to be created. Odin smiled slowly.

“What do you see? Shall he be a great king?”

Frigga looked down at the babe smiling up at her and knew that if she revealed what she had seen that she would be putting an end to his life. Loki gurgled happily and pulled on one of her fingers playfully.

“Well?” Odin pushed.

Frigga swallowed loudly and forced a smile.

“He shall be like nothing Asgard has ever seen.”

 

.

 

“I have been to see him.” Balder tells Thor as soon as he has returned from the holding cells. “He is fine.”

Thor looks up from the scroll he had been reading.

“Has Father lifted my ban on seeing him?” he asks quietly.

Balder shakes his head.

“I am afraid not. I do not think he shall change that anytime soon.”

Thor makes a huffing sound and kicks at the tomes of dusty books piled around his feet.

“I only wish to see if he is truly alright. Loki is most skilled at pretense.”

Balder grabs an apple from the bowl by Thor’s table and frowns at his older brother.

“Should you not be too ashamed to go and see him? After everything that has happened-”

“He is still Loki and I still love him.” Thor says simply.

Balder shushes him loudly and glares at him.

“Be quiet, you fool! Do you wish to bring Heimdall down on top of you?” he whispers. “You know that you are not to say that.”

Thor huffs.

“I shall say as I please. I am not afraid.”

Balder sighs sadly.

“You should be, Thor. For I am afraid. For both of you. Your sins will not be forgiven lightly.”


	2. Chapter One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all who has read it so far! I hope it is okay and that you enjoy the next instalment. Please comment, kudos and critique!

Loki tries in vain to ignore the ignorant guards that Odin insists stand outside his glass box of insanity. Loki wonders why Odin would waste men on him when it is clear that he cannot use his magic. He is chained like a beast to the floor. He does not have a bed to lay in, he does not have water to bathe himself in. He lies in the same spot, in the same position day in and day out. His entire body aches and screams for some sort of respite. 

Loki knows he shall not receive any.

“The All-Father approaches.” One guard calls out as though expecting Loki to get to his feet. 

He watches Loki expectantly, a frown appearing on his face when he sees that Loki makes no move to get to his feet.

“Stand, Son of Odin.” He demands.

“Hold your tongue!” Loki snarls viciously. “I am still a Prince of Asgard, you have no right.” 

The guard raises an eyebrow and continues to watch Loki, waiting for him to stand.

“Stand so that you may bow before your king!” Another one pipes up foolishly.

Loki laughs humourlessly and stares the guards down.

“Have you not a mind between you? I am chained to the ground, how may I possibly stand?”

Loki smirks as the guards shuffle from one foot to another, looking appropriately embarrassed by their foolishness. They soon straighten up, however, as Odin enters the chamber, his one good eye locking with Loki’s the instant he steps into sight. Loki raises his chin slightly, tugging at his chains so that they jangle playfully.

“I was hoping that maybe you would allow me to sit up today, Father.” Loki calls out, a wide smile on his face.

Odin nods at the guards, indicating that they may leave. They do so reluctantly. Odin taps the side of the glass and steps inside the box as a pane slides towards the left, allowing him entry.

“How are you feeling?” he asks stiffly.

“Angry and sore.” Loki answers truthfully. 

Odin hums softly and glances down at Loki sadly.

“I need only look at you and know that you have not seen the error of your ways.” Odin says mournfully.

“Has Thor?” Loki challenges. “Or does he strut about proudly enjoying his freedom, escaping your wrath once again.”

Odin sighs and looks away, a distant look in his eye.

“Thor is confined to his room and mourns the loss of his brother deeply.”

Loki swallows audibly and looks down, biting his bottom lip angrily.

“It is unfair to lock one of us away and allow the other to roam freely.” 

Odin smiles at Loki almost warmly.

“You are to be separated. That is why he does not join you in the prison.”

Loki huffs but remains quiet besides that. Odin watches him unhappily for a while longer before tapping at the chains that bind his legs together. The metal bracelets fall from Loki’s ankles and allow him to move his legs properly. Loki moans loudly as he stretches his legs and looks up at his father hopefully.

“I need to bathe.”

“Tomorrow.” Odin promises as he goes to leave the glass box.

“I’m not sorry, you know.” Loki calls after him.

Odin nods, never turning back to look at his son.

“I know, Loki.”

 

.

 

Frigga had watched Loki grow. Loki had been the most beautiful, most perfect being ever created. He had a high-forehead, smooth cheeks, glittering green eyes and dark hair that fell past his shoulders in gently twisted waves. His lips were the palest shade of peach and his skin was the palest ivory. Frigga had comforted him through the times when children were desperately cruel creatures, calling Loki ‘princess’ and ‘ma’am’. Loki used to clutch at her skirts, his eyes wide and tearful as he asked over and over why the other children, Thor’s friends really, refused to accept the fact that he was a boy.

“Because you are different.” Frigga would reply time and time again.

She blames herself now. She knows that she is the reason Loki thinks himself above others, as a separate being, someone that does not belong, that does not fit in with those around him. Frigga thinks that it might have been envy that caused the other children to treat Loki the way they did. He was not Frigga’s child; the people of Asgard knew that. They resented Loki for it, deciding to blame the child instead of the king that had planted the seed in another woman’s belly. She thinks that people hated the fact that Loki was the closest to Odin, after their own glorious son Thor. She thinks that they always compared Loki to Thor, Thor with his golden beauty and warmth and heart that rivalled the strength and brightness of the suns. Thor was a happier child. He would laugh and smile with pure, undiluted happiness and it was infectious. He would race about the palace, his long, wild, golden hair flowing behind him like molten gold, shouting out to his friends, asking them to come with and explore the lakes, the mountains, the fields and rivers of Asgard. And how Sif, Volstaag and Fandral longed to join him! Frigga could see it on their shiny, young faces, turned up towards Thor, bright and hopeful. They wished to join him and explore with him but Loki was Thor’s shadow and he frightened them. His green eyes would stare them down, silently daring them to accept the offer, to try and steal Thor away from him. Loki made them feel as if their mediocrity decided they couldn’t be friends with the Princes of Asgard. Loki made them feel inferior and Frigga knows that that is the root of their hatred for the dark prince. Loki believed that there was only one person that was on a par with Thor and that was him and him alone.

Frigga watched on as Thor and Loki spent almost every second of that first millennia together. Loki was hopelessly envious of the blonde, bronzed god but he was also helplessly and irrevocably in love with him. Frigga could feel it in her own beating heart. Loki’s love for Thor was stronger than the bond of blood alone. Loki loved Thor. He was in love with his brother. Odin had created and nurtured them as two polar opposites and Loki found that he was inexplicably drawn to the light that surrounded Thor like the most beautiful halo. He was like a moth drawn to a flame and Frigga had tired her best to try and separate them as best she could.

“He is my best friend, Mother!” Thor had complained when Frigga had moved Loki from Thor’s room. “We spend our nights talking and planning all the great adventures to come!” 

Loki had looked bereaved as he packed his belongings.

“You are only moving across the hallway.” Frigga had sighed impatiently.

“I don’t like the darkness.” Loki had said quietly and Frigga knew that he meant more than the black cloak of nightfall. 

“I shall request that the maids leave your lanterns burning.” Frigga said soothingly.

The pair had been separated for almost two nights before the maids informed Frigga that they were now sharing the same bed. 

“It is sweet, your Highness.” One of the maids had chirped.

“You should be pleased that your boys get along so well.” Another had piped up.

Frigga had forced a smile and nodded at them, thanking them graciously for their kind comments. As soon as Odin had entered their chambers that night, she had demanded that they have another child.

“You have two wonderful sons, is that not enough?” Odin had grumbled as he undressed. 

“They are too close. They need a third sibling.” She had said firmly.

Ten moons later baby Balder was born. Thor had been overjoyed, his bright blue eyes sparkling as he cradled his brother gently.

“He is beautiful.” He breathed, the baby looking impossibly small in his strong arms.

Frigga had glanced at Loki, gaging his reaction. He had smiled up at her sweetly, tucking a strand of his dark hair behind his ear.

“He is the finest creature I have ever laid eyes on.” Loki had declared smoothly. “I am honoured to call him my brother.”

Frigga didn’t believe him and so the Silvertongue was born.

 

.

 

“He is your brother.” Sif sighs as they stroll around the garden. “They both are and regardless of what they have done in the past, forgiveness is the only way that you all may move on.”

Balder snorts and shoots a disbelieving look her way.

“You know not the full story, Sif. What they have done cannot be forgiven.”

Sif raises her eyebrows and links arms with the taller prince, looking up at him with a sceptical expression.

“Everything can be forgiven. It just takes a brave man to do so.”

 

.

 

Although Odin did not like to listen to gossip, when rumours had initially begun to spread across the palace, he could not help but listen. They spoke of Thor and Loki, how they were inseparable and almost shamefully so. Thor, with his big heart and blue eyes that shone with honesty could not bear to be apart from Loki for more than a day. He always returned from adventures as soon as he could and his first port of call was always his brother, Loki. Odin grew worried. He feared that such a relationship would prove detrimental for both his sons. He shared his worries with Heimdall who promised him that the boys were just being boys.

“They are brothers, your Highness. They are best friends. Thor is more attached to Loki than Loki is to Thor but they love each other regardless. You should be proud of your sons. They are fine men.”

Odin shook his head unsurely.

“There is something amiss. I just cannot put my finger on it.”

Odin wishes now he could have seen it. That he had not missed the signs.

 

.

 

“I wish to visit him, Mother.” Thor says quietly as Frigga enters his chambers. “I sit here day after day and learn law after law. I do as I am asked and without complaint. I only wish to lay eyes on him and know that he is alright.”

Frigga sighs unhappily and sits opposite her eldest son.

“Your father has forbidden it.” She says sadly.

“You could cloak me.” Thor says hopefully.

Frigga shakes her head and places her hand over Thor’s.

“You know that me doing so would be treason. I am sorry, darling. I know you only wish to see him.”

Thor pulls his hand away from hers and glares at her, his infamous temper rearing its ugly head.

“You are our mother and you let us suffer so! Have you no heart?” he demands aggressively. 

Frigga rolls her eyes wearily and goes to her feet.

“Why must you taint my visits with his name?” she asks quietly. “Why cannot you not just let me speak with you?”

“Because you are pretending as if it has not happened.”

 

.

 

One day, atop the highest mountain they could find, Thor caught himself staring at the smooth planes of Loki’s chest as he lay out before the heat of the sun, his armour discarded and scattered about the place absent-mindedly. He frowned and curiously reached across to strokes Loki’s perfect skin which jumped beneath his touch. Loki had cracked one eye open and glared at him, shoving his hand away.

“What?” Loki snapped, his folding his arms across his chest.

“Why do you not have golden skin?” Thor mused.

Loki shrugged.

“Because you are the Golden Son of Asgard. You are golden like the sun so that those stupid pagans will worship you.” He explained.

Thor looked deep into those emerald eyes and smiled slowly.

“Do they worship you?”

Loki shook his head.

“They should.” Thor decided. “You are the most beautiful being ever created. Your skin glows with purity.”

Loki snorted and grinned at Thor crookedly.

“You are much more beautiful than I. And you are the heir to the Kingdom; of course they should worship you over me.”

Thor sighed and watched as two humming birds flew about above their heads, zipping about magically, the soft beating of their wings almost hypnotic.

“I wish I had wings. So I could fly away never become king.” Thor breathed, never taking his eyes from the birds.

When he looked again, Loki had moved closer so that their chests were almost touching. Loki looked at him rather coyly and smiled softly.

“You can touch me if you wish.”

Thor did not need to be invited twice. He quickly reached out and ran his fingers along Loki’s chest, not missing the way the younger man shivered. He gathered Loki’s long, dark hair in his hands and placed it over one shoulder so that he could touch and see every inch of the chest before him. Thor stroked him softly and listened to the sounds of Loki’s breathing. He had closed his eyes and was biting his lip as though to stifle whatever noises were trying to escape. Neither of them missed the roll of thunder that shook the ground beneath them.

“Is this wrong?” Thor whispered, his mouth hovering over Loki’s parted lips.

Loki laughed, the happiest sound in the universe and pushed closer so that Thor’s hands would fall away and their chests were flush against one another.

“It is not right.” He mused.

Thor closed his eyes and kissed him, not missing the jolt of icy cold that rushed through body and squeezed at his soul.


	3. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so please let me know what you all think! <3

Odin doesn’t come the next day to allow Loki to bathe. Neither does he come the day after that. A week passes and then two and Loki believes that he has been left to rot. 

He sleeps in fits and starts. Whenever he feels himself begin to drift off, his entire body seems to jerk, forcing his eyes to open once again. Every time he closes his eyes he sees Thor. He sees his bright blue eyes, his dazzling smile. 

He sees his forehead streaked in blood, tears pouring down his flushed cheeks, his chest heaving as he vows to protect Loki, always, never to let another harm him.

He sees Thor being shackled and chained, the two of them marching side-by-side, flanked by guards, slowly making their way to the throne room to face Odin’s disgust and wrath.

Loki sees too much so it really does not come as a surprise that sleep desperately evades him.

“I wish to bathe.” Loki calls out to the guard standing by the glass walls of his cell.

The guard ignores him, not even turning to indicate that he had heard Loki. Loki growls and pulls at the chains around his wrists, jangling them loudly.

“I wish to bathe!” Loki all but shouts. 

The guard slowly looks over his shoulder and shakes his head.

“I have been ordered not to grant any of your requests without liaising with the crowned prince, Thor.”

Loki’s heart soars and he looks at the guard hopefully.

“Thor? Thor is allowed grant my requests?” Loki asks excitedly.

The guard nods.

“Yes sir. The Allfather has slipped into Odissleep.”

Loki laughs loudly and rattles his chains happily.

“Well, then! Go fetch him this instant!”

The guard looks terribly uncertain but he knows that how persistent Loki can be. He glances at the guard to his right who just shrugs.

“Do it.” Loki demands desperately. “Get him now.”

 

.

 

“You must never touch Loki like that.” Frigga had warned Thor when he was but a child. 

She had walked in on Thor and Loki tracing each other’s mouths with their fingers, their faces but inches away. Their little, pink tongues had flicked out every now and then to lick the others fingers with a giggle.

“He is your younger brother. Loki should not have allowed you to do so.”

Thor had nodded and hung his head in shame. He knew when he was touching Loki that what he was doing was wrong. There had been a feeling in the pit of his stomach, an emotion that Thor had only ever heard stories of. He had thought that he may have been experiencing guilt but he could not have known for sure as he was too ashamed to ask his mother.

“I am sorry.” He said with a heavy heart.

Frigga embraced him warmly and placed the gentlest of kisses atop the crown of his golden head.

“You need not apologise, my beautiful boy. You knew not what you were doing.”

But he had, Thor had realized. He had known the wrongness of their actions and yet he had said not a word.

Because he wanted it. He wanted Loki.

 

.

 

Thor awakes with a jolt as he hears the knocking on his door. He sits up slowly and blinks around the room blearily before stumbling out of the bed and making his way to the door. He pulls the heavy, oak panel open and blinks in surprise when he sees one of the prison guards standing before him.

“Your Highness, my apologies for awakening you at this late hour, however, Prince Loki requests that you allow him to bathe. He is becoming quite disruptive.” 

Thor feels his heart skip a beat. So far he has managed to avoid dealing with Loki simply by allowing Balder to visit him and report back to Thor how he fares. He knows and understands that Loki is desperate to bathe. He also knows and understands how he will react when they are finally reunited. He glances at the guard uncertainly and wonders what he is thinking. Surely the young guard must have heard of their scandal. He is probably disgusted by Thor like all the others.

“Can it not wait til morn?”

The guard looks uncomfortable as he shrugs.

“Aye. But he seems quite… manic this eve, sire.”

Thor heaves a sigh before nodding.

“So be it. I shall follow you down in a moment. Thank you.”

 

.

 

Odin hadn’t always been oblivious to the strange relationship brewing between Thor and Loki. There were times when Frigga would shove it under his nose and beg for him to understand what was going on. One morning she had walked in on Thor straddling Loki, the two of them bucking about in the bed like two untamed colts. Odin had tried to explain to his wife that they were wrestling like brothers do but she had insisted that there had been something more to the scene she had interrupted.

Odin refused to believe it. Thor was only barely hitting his teenage years and Loki was but a child. Yet Frigga had described to Odin what she had walked in on that morning and whilst Odin had not been as disturbed as it by Frigga, believing that they were just boys being boys, Frigga had insisted that Thor was old enough to understand what they were doing.

“I should shackle you for what you have allowed to happen this morn.” Odin had declared, his one eye eyeing Thor sharply.

Thor had bowed his head further, his long hair falling in front of him like two folds of golden silk. 

“I can only apologize for what I have done, Father.” Thor had muttered, his cheeks burning.

Odin had sighed loudly, stroking his bead thoughtfully.

“You understand why brother’s do not touch each other in such a manner?” He finally questioned.

Thor had looked up at him with bright eyes that shone like the finest of jewels.

“I only touched him like that because we are brothers!” Thor had declared loudly. “I did not realize that wrestling was strange!”

And Odin believed him because he wanted to, choosing to ignore the fact that Frigga had found a love-bite underneath Loki’s chin.

Thor was his most loved son. He was the warrior, the mighty prince that would one day rule the kingdom with a firm, fair hand.

“You are forgiven.” He decided, placing his hand on Thor’s cheek warmly. “Now run along; Sif and Fandral are waiting for you.”

Thor had beamed up at him brightly before jumping to his feet and racing out of the golden chambers, his feet slapping against the marble tiles as he sped out of the Throne Room. But it wasn’t towards Sif and Fandral that he was racing. Odin knew deep, deep down that Thor was making his way to Loki. 

When he thinks back on it now, he realizes that he had always known. There was a part of him that always knew what was going on, he just never wanted to admit it to himself.

 

.

 

“Balder? Balder, wake up!” Thor whispers loudly, shaking his sleeping brother.

Balder wakes slowly and stares up at Thor blankly when he sees the anxious face of his older brother hovering over his own.

“You realize that it is the middle of the night?” He croaks as he sits up.

Thor nods.

“Loki is reportedly being disruptive and demanding the right to bathe.” He sighs.

Balder shrugs.

“Refuse it.” He answers simply.

Thor shakes his head. 

“No. I want you to accompany me to the prison. I shall grant him his requests but I need you there.”

Balder doesn’t ask why. He knows why his eldest brother, the new King of Asgard, needs him to come with him. Loki is manipulative and Thor loves him because he is a fool. He nods and kicks back the furs of his bed.

“Come along then, let us get this unpleasantness over with.”

 

.

 

Loki remembers the nights they would spend together, holed up inside Thor’s chambers, desperately trying to keep quiet as they kissed and explored every inch of other. He can remember biting his tongue so hard it bled in a bid to keep silent as Thor ravished him and lavished him with attention.

“How can this be wrong?” Loki had mused as they lay together afterwards. “How can people tell us that what we are doing is abnormal?”

They had been young then. Young and naïve and hopeful that someone would understand them and accept them. 

Thor had shrugged, peppering Loki’s jawline with the sweetest of kisses.

“They are fools.” He had breathed against his skin. “They know not what they speak of.”

Loki had nodded and curled against Thor as tightly as he could, pressing his head against his pair chest.

“If Mother found us…” he sighed.

“She won’t.” Thor promised. “She thinks you are sleeping in your own chambers, as usual.”

They had both laughed at that. Frigga had moved Loki from Thor’s room almost six centuries ago and yet Loki had spent less than half a century in his own bed. He ran one cool hand along Thor’s chest and smiled.

“One day we won’t have to hide. When I am king-” Thor had started but Loki silenced him with a sharp pinch.

“Please, do not start talking about when you are king!” Loki had groaned. “I do not have the patience to listen to any more of your ramblings.”

Thor had smiled down at him fondly and placed a chaste kiss to the crown of his head.

“When I am King, you shall stand alongside me as my equal and the people of Asgard shall accept us for who we are.”

Loki wonders if Thor remembers that promise.


	4. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh thank you all for reading and responding! Please continue to do so and enjoy!

Thor only falters slightly as they make their way down the cool, dank, stone steps towards the dungeon. Balder is silent and sleepy, his blonde head bent forward slightly as he drags himself through the prison, ignoring the prisoners that tap on the glass desperately, doing everything possible to catch their King’s eye.

“Please, do not tell me that he shares a cell.” Thor pleads quietly as they march past the cells.

Balder snorts and glances over his shoulder at Thor.

“Do you think Father would risk that? Loki would start a mutiny if he had other minds to mould.”

Thor allows himself a small smile that soon vanishes as they near the cell that he knows to be Loki’s. It is by far the largest glass square of them all, placed atop three golden steps. It sits in the middle of the prison and yet it seems to be the darkest cell. There are no candles illuminating Loki’s cell. Thor can barely make out his lithe figure, chained to the ground. He swallows hard and takes a deep steadying breath.

“He has done wrong.” Balder reminds him quickly, realizing that Thor’s resolve was crumbling.

“As have I and yet I am allowed to roam freely.” Thor says softly. “Where is the justice in that?”

“He murdered hundreds of innocents.” Balder growls. “He sent the Nine Realms spiralling into chaos.”

“I have murdered those who deserved life.” Thor argues gently, his eyes never leaving Loki’s cell.

“He slit her throat, Thor! He left her to choke on her own blood. Remember that! Remember the pain he made you feel, the hurt, the betrayal, the-”

“Oh, it must be my lucky day!” A sarcastic drawl interrupts, only slightly muffled by the glass panes. “It is not every day I am granted the presence of both my brothers.”

Thor’s head snaps up so fast it cracks. He marches towards Loki’s cell with purpose and taps on the glass to gain entry to his newly acquired chambers.

“I love what you have done with the place.” He teases, desperately ignoring the dark circles under his brothers eyes, the unkempt hair and the yellowish tinge to his porcelain skin.

Loki smirks and meets Thor’s unwavering gaze willingly.

“I cannot take all the credit; it was like this when I came here.”

Thor cracks his first genuine smile since the day they were dragged home in chains. He goes to sit but Balder quickly pulls at his arm, shaking his head firmly.

“You are here to grant a request and that is all.” He mutters under his breath urgently.

Thor’s heart sinks and he glances at his youngest brother pleadingly. 

“I only wish to talk.” He whispers.

“I did not realize Balder was your keeper.” Loki points out with a bright smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. 

Thor clears his throat and goes to speak but Balder gets there first.

“I am not. I am simply reminding Thor that it is past midnight and that he has other duties to attend to. No other prisoner would be awarded the allowances you have been given.”

Loki rolls his eyes.

“I may be a prisoner but I am also a prince and your brother.” He sniffs. “I thought our shared blood would afford me some more luxuries.”

“You may bathe.” Thor says quickly. “And all of your chains shall be removed.”

“You could just set me free. Or lock yourself in chains.” Loki states bluntly. “You are just as guilty as I am.”

Thor blinks at Loki helplessly, glancing at Balder nervously. Balder steps forward, his large frame towering over Loki’s, who remains chained to the floor.

“His first command cannot be to undo the Allfather’s last. You may bathe and your chains shall be removed but that is where it ends. Understood?”

Loki pulls a face and looks up at Balder with undisguised distaste.

“Even as a child you forgot your place. You are no one, Balder the Brave. You are the third prince of Asgard, remember that. If Thor falls I am the next in throne, not you. I strongly advise that you watch your tongue.”

“You are a prisoner, Loki. And you are a half-breed, do you really think you shall ever sit on the throne of Asgard?” Balder argues with a good-humoured laugh and Loki knows deep in his soul that he hates him.

He hates the way Balder can laugh off his insults and jibes and act as though their cross words are just banter and good fun. He hates the way he has made Thor look at him, his blue eyes wide as he silently pleads with Loki to stop. Loki blinks once at Thor, indicating that he shall abide by his wishes this once. 

He holds his tongue and ignores his younger brother, instead rattling the chains around his wrists expectantly.

“Whenever you’re ready.” He says with a sigh.

Thor comes forward with the key and kneels before Loki, a tiny smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“I have not mastered Father’s staff yet so I shall have to remove them manually.”

Loki does not complain. He can feel the heat from Thor’s body radiating from him and Loki almost moans in pleasure. Thor’s hands on his wrists are as rough as they always were but when they connect with his own bruised skin, it is as if the finest of silks are caressing him. Thor fumbles with the tiny key clumsily and takes more time than necessary, rubbing the soft skin underneath Loki’s forearm soothingly and away from Balder’s watchful gaze.

“I miss you.” Thor whispers so quietly that Loki almost doesn’t hear him.

He glances up at Loki with sad blue eyes and squeezes his hands gently as the chains fall to the ground loudly.

“Never forget that I love you.” Loki says loudly enough for Balder to hear.

Thor lets go of his hands slowly and gets to his feet once more. Loki follows suit, feeling dizzy from months of being chained to the ground. He cracks his back as he stands and offers Balder a tight.

“Thank you.” He says and he means it.

Loki is no fool. He knows that he must stay on the right side of Balder if he ever wishes to see Thor enter the dungeons again. He knows that Balder has a good heart; the most golden heart in all of Asgard after Thor.

Balder smiles and Loki is amazed to see that it is one of genuine affection.

“No trouble, brother. Now, we must dash but you should sit here and repent. Maybe if you show our Father the slightest bit of remorse you will allow you to leave this horrible place.”

And Loki can hear the pleading in his voice, the hope that Loki may for once, do the right thing. Except to Loki it is the wrong thing. To Loki it is betrayal of his own beliefs and all that h has fought for.

He glances at Thor who smiles at him encouragingly. He forces a small smile and shrugs his shoulders.

“Perhaps.”

 

.

 

Thor had never questioned his relationship with Loki, not when they were young and curious boys. He all he had known was that his mother did not like it and was forever watching them, insisting that Thor knew that he was doing the wrong thing but he hadn’t.

He had not understood the wrongness of kissing his brothers mouth or cradling his brothers naked form against his own. He did not realize the severity of their actions. All he knew is that he loved Loki and Loki loved him.

“You shall have to start looking for a queen soon!” His Father had teased on his fifteenth birthday.

Thor’s heart had stopped and he had looked at his father with wide, fearful eyes.

“But I do not want a queen! I shall rule with Loki by my side!”

All of his father’s advisors and dignitaries had laughed, ruffling his long blonde hair as they chuckled at him, thinking his declaration a joke of some sort.

“And tell me princeling, whom shall bear your children?” Angerboda, his father’s favourite healer, had demanded. “Surely not your brother?”

Thor hadn’t liked the way Angerboda had asked the question. He had put a lot of emphasis on the word ‘brother’, as if he understood, as if he could see into Thor’s soul and deepest darkest secrets.

“I do not wish to have children.” Thor had said petulantly.

Odin had smiled at him and patted him on the back, rolling his eyes to all the advisors.

“I think you shall find that children come at times whether you wish for them or not. Now run along, your Mother wishes to speak with you.”

Thor had walked away from the group with his cheeks burning and Angerboda’s gaze hot on his back.

 

.

 

Loki returns from his wash in the public bath to see his Mother sitting on his bed, her long legs crossed and her hands resting on her lap. She looks up at offers Loki a small smile as he is escorted back inside the cell by an Einherjar. Frigga nods at the young man who bows swiftly and exits the room with haste.

Loki nods at Frigga stiffly, staying standing.

“I am surprised by your visit.”

Frigga raises an eyebrow.

“Are you? Did you not think I would come to visit my son?”

Loki snorts.

“I am not your son.”

Frigga only shrugs, brushing at something on her skirt.

“If that is how you wish to see it, so be it. Thor visited before me?”

Loki nods.

“Yes. And your ever faithful son Balder escorted him and watched his every move.” Loki sneers. “I promise nothing untoward happened, Mother. Just three brothers behaving as brothers do.”

Frigga sighs loudly and looks Loki straight in the eye.

“If you only wish to be hostile with me, I am afraid I shall have to leave. I came to have words with you I can see that you are in no such humour for such things.”

Frigga goes to stand and Loki does not stop her. He can see that she is disappointed by his behaviour but he could care less.

“Tell me, Mother, how is it that one son becomes King whilst another becomes a prisoner? We are both guilty of the same sins; we have both been tempted by the great snake in the Garden of Eden. Why is it that I alone am being punished?”

Loki holds his mother’s gaze desperately, willing her to speak the truth. That they love Thor more, that he is more important, that he is special, anything at all to stop the turmoil that burns like acid in the pit of his stomach.

“Loki, you killed thousands of innocents. You sent the Nine Realms to war. You murdered your own wife and then proceeded to slay Thor’s. You betrayed your father over and over until there was no room for more daggers. The fact that you were pursuing a physical relationship with your brother is just one more thing on a long, long list of wrong-doings.” Frigga says sadly. “Thor, on the other hand, made one mistake and that was loving you the way he does, Loki. I have learned through the millennia’s that loving you is like suicide. You slowly kill someone from the inside out. We have all learned how to keep you at arms-length. All of us except Thor, of course. He loves you blindly, Loki, and I can promise you this; if you try drag my son down any further I shall slit your throat myself.”

Loki blinks at her in surprise and then begins to laugh. He throws his head back and laughs loudly, until the only sound in that glass box is the sound of his manic hysteria. Frigga watches on, her brows furrowed anxiously.

"What is it you find so amusing?" she demands.

Loki chortles and shakes his head, his cheeks flushed from his laughter. He gazes at her for the longest time before snickering again.

"You are a foolish woman if you think Thor's only wrong doing is loving me, Mother. There are things the Mighty Thor has done that would make your blood curdle." he whispers, his voice low, dark and dangerous. "Do not be so stupid as to think that he is an innocent in all of this. His soul weighs a lot heavier than mine, my queen and I pity you. You are Seer, Mother, and yet you cannot see what is right in front of you. You have three guilty, rotten sons and yet you pin all the blame to the half-breed. What kind of person does that make you, hm?"

Frigga pales slightly and takes a step back from Loki, an uncertain look in her eyes.

"You are ill, Loki. You are not yourself nor have you been for a long, long time."

Loki cracks a smile.

"Wrong again. This is me. I am this creature, this horrible monster that needs to be locked in cage because you have made me this way. All my life you have treated me differently and set me apart from the rest. You have made me into this terrible beast, Mother, and you made your eldest son love me the way he does."

Frigga turns on her heel and marches towards the panel, tapping on it and waiting for it to open. Loki smirks.

"And he does love me, you know. More than any of you. He has killed for me and he would do it again if I only asked. Remember that, Mother."


	5. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this chapter seems rushed! Life is mental at the moment! Much love to you all. x

Loki blinks back the tears that burn his eyes. He swallows hard and offers Frigga a tight smile.

“Your son? Am I not your son, also?” he challenges

Loki can see the Einherjar out of the corner of his eye. They are watching them. They are waiting for the moment when they can enter Loki’s cell and slay him where he stands. He takes a step back from Frigga and watches the number of emotions that flit their way across her face. She does not know how to answer him and yet that is answer enough in Loki’s eyes. He lets out a short, harsh bark of laughter and shakes his head at the woman before him.

“Oh, your silence speaks volumes, Mother.” 

Frigga’s eyes slide shut for a moment as she takes a deep breath in.

“Loki, why must you play these games? Repent for what you have done and your father shall free you, that much I can guarantee.” She says softly as she taps on the pane of glass behind her.

Loki smirks and shakes his head.

“I shall not repent. I have done no more wrong than Thor.”

Frigga raises an eyebrow as she turns to leave.

“If you loved Thor the way you claim, you would repent.”

Loki makes a snarling sound and waves his mother away.

“Do not feel obligated to visit me anymore, woman. Your company only sours my mood.”

Frigga watches him through the glass sadly, a small smile on her lips.

“By blood you are not mine, Loki, but I love you nonetheless.” She promises.

Loki huffs at her and turns his head dismissively. 

“If you loved me I would not be incarcerated in here. I would be roaming the palace like the Mighty Thor.” He says bitterly.

He doesn’t look up again. Instead he turns away and faces the blank, white wall opposite him. He can feel a lump in his throat, threatening to choke him. 

“He is not so mighty without you by his side.” He hears Frigga whisper as she walks away.

Loki waits until she is long out of sight before screaming, a long, drawn out sound that causes the other prisoners shift in their cells uncomfortably.

 

.

 

Thor dreams of Loki. He dreams of his smooth skin and hot mouth, his gentle touch and sharp laughter. In his dreams Loki is young and carefree, he is the child from his youth that captured his attention so masterfully.

“Why can’t you sleep Thor?” Dream Loki whispers, stroking his face softly.

His dark hair is long and curly like it used be when they were young boys together. His cheeks are plumper with a hint of peach. His green eyes sparkle with mischief and Thor closes the distance between them eagerly.

“You know this is a dream, yes?” Young Loki breathes against his mouth.

Thor sighs and nods.

“Of course. But there are some traces of memory hidden within.”

Dream Loki laughs, a sound that soon becomes a cackles as his morphs into his brother now, all wiry muscles and sharp angles. His kind, sweet smile turns to one of dark humour. His long dark hiar becomes something shorter and much more unkempt.

“Ah, but only the good memories.” Loki snarls. “You would not dare recall the bad ones, would you?”

The light around them dims somewhat and suddenly they are both covered in blood. Thor knows that it is only a dream but the liquid is hot and wet on his skin and he can smell the iron, the back of his throat burning. He looks down at his hands and sees that they too are dripping with blood. Loki drops to a crouch before him and smirks up at him, his head tilted to the side almost playfully.

“Aye. You remember this, don’t you, brother? Jane lying at my feet, both of us drenched in her blood. It was beautiful, wasn’t it?” he laughs breathlessly.

Thor glances around and sees Jane’s limp, lifeless form at his feet. He shakes his head and takes a step back.

“This is only a dream.” He mutters, pinching himself, desperate to wake up.

Loki chortles happily.

“Ah! But there are some traces of memory hidden within, are there not?” he mocks, his eyes glittering with something dark and dangerous.

“Why are you doing this?” Thor demands.

Loki’s smile vanishes and he scowls up at Thor.

“Because you have left me to rot in that cell, haven’t you brother? After all your promises, all of those brave words. I am nothing more than a prisoner to you now.”

Thor shakes his head.

“That is not true, Loki! I care for you as deeply as ever but-”

“But what?” Loki hisses. “Are you really prepared to lose another loved one?”

He takes a swift kick at Jane’s motionless body causing the body to roll lifelessly. Thor’s stomach turns as he meets Loki’s hot gaze.

“I will do everything I can to free you-”

“Do it faster.” Loki growls before going up in flames.

Thor’s eyes snap open and he exhales slowly, his chest feeling much too tight.

“Damn you brother.” He whispers.

 

.

 

“He is not himself.” Sif mutters to Balder as she watches Thor spar in the training arena. 

His movements are jerky and violent and too quick for her liking. He fights with a bloodlust Sif has never seen in training before. His opponents cower before him, practically surrendering before he has even delivered the last blow.

Balder shrugs coolly.

“Perhaps that is a good thing. Perhaps we need a new Thor, born anew with a fresh perspective.” He says calmly.

Sif looks at him sharply.

“Whatever he has done cannot be that bad. Surely the Allfather would have punished him as harshly as Loki had he been deserving of it?”

Balder sighs exasperatedly and gives Sif an impatient look.

“Do you honestly believe that? Father has spent centuries grooming Thor into the perfect warrior and king, do you think he would throw that all away by tarnishing his name?” he demands.

Sif eyes narrow as she watches Balder carefully.

“Thor cannot be as guilty Loki. Loki committed treason and murdered thousands of people with-”

“With Thor at his side.” Balder finishes firmly. “I have come to realize that my brothers are monsters that care more for themselves and their selfish urges than the people of Asgard.” 

Sif frowns and turns her attention back to Thor. He was no longer fighting. Instead he was staring off into the distance, a disturbed and unhappy expression on his face. 

“He misses him.” Sif says softly.

Balder glances at Thor. He knows he is. He can see it in everything Thor does. He is at a loss without Loki by his side.

“You do not.” She observes.

Balder shrugs once again, tearing his eyes away from Thor to look Sif in the eye.

“He was never a brother to me.” He answers truthfully. “I never understood what Thor saw in him.”

 

.

 

Their first fight had confirmed their relationship. Before it, they never knew if they were brothers or lovers or just brothers pretending to be lovers or lovers pretending to be brothers. It had been their mothers birthday. They were no longer boys. Thor was a man and Loki was just a few years behind. There had been a magnificent feast and royalty and dignitaries from all across the Nine were present. People were dancing and drinking and the merriment went on to be something that people talked about for moons afterwards. Thor and Loki has stayed by each other’s side, as always, commenting on the guests and jesting with each other. 

Then, she had asked Thor to dance. 

She was beautiful, all willowy curves and long blond hair. At first Loki felt slighted that she had not asked him. But then he watched them dance together, watched the way Thor’s hands crept down her back, just above the swell of her buttocks. He had whispered something in her ear and then he had kissed her.

“Oh. Aren’t they beautiful together!” Frigga had marvelled. 

Loki saw red. With the flick of his hand, he forced the young beauty to trip over her dress. He then allowed a chandelier to drop right beside her, narrowly missing her left side. She had screamed and clung to Thor and the Thundered had met his stormy gaze with something furious brewing inside him. He made his excuses to the maiden and marched over towards Loki, dragging him towards the door. People were watching and whispering but they did not care. Thor had thrown him through the doors, pushing him up against the stone wall behind him.

“What kind of foolish trickery was that, Loki? You could have seriously hurt her!” he had roared.

“And what difference would that make, Thor? She is just another mindless, pretty woman wishing to spread her legs for the Golden Son of Asgard!” he had snarled.

“What is the matter with you?” Thor demanded. “It was only a dance!”

“And a kiss!” Loki hissed. “You kissed her right in front of me as though it were nothing!”

“But Loki, why does that-?”

“Because I love you, you stupid oaf!” Loki had all but shrieked.

The silence that followed afterwards had been deafening. Loki had made an attempt to slip away but Thor pinned him against the wall with all his weight, his blue eyes searching Loki’s desperately.

“Do you mean that?” he whispered.

Loki swallowed and nodded. Thor pressed his lips against Loki’s softly, the kiss gentle and loving and almost too much for Loki.

“Then I am sorry.” He whispered against Loki’s lips. “I did not realize that this… that we…”

“Neither did I.”


	6. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who has read this and enjoyed so far! my only question is; should i end it soon? Am I only writing this for my own selfish needs or do you, the reader, actually enjoy the story? I dont want to waste anyone's time. :/ much love as always! <3

“Love is strange.” Thor murmurs around the side of his goblet of mead.

Sif shoots him a sharp look and raises an eyebrow. She could barely hear him over the noise of the tavern but then again Thor had been silent ever since she had managed to force him out of his chambers.

“What do you mean?” she asks as Volstaag and Fandral laugh boisterously at some disgusting tale Balder had just finished telling.

Thor looks at her as if he didn’t know she was there and offered her a vacant smile.

“Nothing.” He answers quickly, placing his goblet down.

Sif narrows her dark eyes and leans closer to her closest friend. And she is so near now that she can count the freckles that patter their away across his skin. He is still as golden as ever, but the spark of life that was once the brightest in all of Asgard, was definitely fading.

“You can tell me.” She urges softly.

Thor gazes at her sadly for a moment before shaking his head.

“I fear I cannot. You are Balder’s now.” 

Thor pats her hand before giving it a light squeeze. Sif tilts her head to the side and regards Thor carefully.

“With all due respect, I belong to no man. You are my closest friend, Thor. Balder is my betrothed. You are two separate entities. I can listen to your thoughts without revealing them to him.” Sif snaps stiffly.

Thor glances at Sif curiously before offering her a ghost of his old smile.

“That is true. But if he were to ask you, and forced you to swear to him, then you would have no choice but to tell him. I cannot put you in that position.”

“I am asking you to!” Sif growls, leaning forward and grabbing Thor’s forearm. “I want to know what happened on Midgard that changed you so.”

Thor blinks once before replying.

“Love.”

 

…

 

Thor can remember falling in love with Loki. He can recall the moment clearly. It had been a few weeks after Mother’s birthday. They were out in the stables, grooming the horses. Thor had watched the way Loki stroked his horse, the way his green eyes seemed to shine like the most expensive of emeralds. His cheeks were flushed pink and his hair was windswept and out of place. He had glanced over at Thor, a knowing smile on his face.

“You like watching me, do you not?” he teased.

Thor had blushed furiously, ashamed at being caught. He had looked away quickly, turning his attention back to his own horse who seemed a bit miffed by the lack of attention.

He could hear Loki making his way towards him. His heart had hammered itself against his chest. Loki ran one finger down the back of his neck, causing him to shiver. Thor heard Loki laugh and glanced up at him uncertainly. Thor was a man but he felt like a boy. 

When he thinks back on it, he thinks himself of no more than a child, naïve and full of hope.

“When we were children Mother said you would be cast out for allowing me to touch you.” Thor whispered, his eyes boring into Loki’s.

Ever since that fight, ever since they had truly managed to label themselves as lovers, Thor had been riddled with guilt, recalling every warning their mother had ever shared with them.

Loki had waved his worries aside dismissively and slipped his hand into Thor’, a smile so wide on his face that Thor could almost count his shining white teeth.

“I know of a place where none could see us, not even Father.” He breathed, his eyes glittering with excitement.

Thor frowned unsurely and looked down at their fingers, so intricately entwined. The contrast of their skin frightened him. They were so different and yet they were brothers and that reminded him of who he was and who Loki was and what would happen should anyone see them holding each other. 

“They would stone us, Loki. They would cast aside and watch us burn.”

Loki frowned and took a step closer, until they were almost chest to chest.

“If they understood our love, how could they watch us burn?” he demanded.

Thor swallowed his answer. He did not think Loki old enough to understand the true workings of the world.

“Our love should be the love of siblings. It is not.” He explained desperately. “It is wrong.”

Loki’s nostrils flared when he turned on Thor next.

“How is it wrong if it makes us happy?” he snapped. “I have heard of Gods that allow each and every man to touch whatever part of another being as much as they want! I have heard of far flung kingdoms where incest is not a taboo! Even mortals are free to do it!”

Thor shushed Loki anxiously and grabbed his wrist, dragging him towards a quieter part of the stable for fear of being overheard.

“But it is a mortal act, Loki. We are Gods.” He whispered calmly.

Loki tilted his chin up defiantly and pressed himself against Thor’s front, pushing the golden god against the wooden wall behind them. Thor was about to push him away when Loki pressed his hot lips against the side of Thor’s neck and began to suck. Thor’s mouth had dropped open as Loki hit that exact spot. He had attempted to swallow his moans, to push his younger brother away and force him to listen but Thor found that he could not. They had soon become lost in a hot, messy tangle of mouths and tongues and teeth and hands that only stopped when Loki pinned Thor to the ground and looked down at him desperately.

“You are my brother and I love you.” He had whispered breathlessly. “But you are also my lover and I am in love with you.”

Thor can remember his heart skipping a beat. He can remember losing himself in those green eyes for what seemed like eternity before nodding. He nodded quickly and kissed Loki almost violently. 

“I love you too.” Thor panted against his mouth. “I love you too, Loki.”

 

.

 

Loki paces up and down the length of his cell. He had enough. He needs to get out. He needs to feel the sunlight on his skin just one more time. He needs to get beneath that heat and just savour it. 

“You are liked a caged animal today.”

Loki spins around to that voice, his heart leaping in his chest. He cannot help but smile when he sees Thor approach him. He places one hand against the window pane and smirks.

“Do you blame me?” he challenges lightly.

Thor’s small smile disappears and he shakes his head. 

“No. I do not.”

Thor walks closer to the glass until he is standing right in front of Loki. Loki closes his eyes and if he tries hard enough if he can feel Thor’s heat, his golden light seeping through the glass panes that encase him. 

“You may leave.” Thor tells the Einherjar that are gathered around them.

“Your Highness, the Allfather left strict instructions that under no circumstances are you to be left alone with any prisoner.” One of the guards pipes up shakily.

Loki opens his eyes again and smiles widely at Thor.

“Oh he is good, our father.” He teases.

Thor rolls his eyes and turns to face the guards. 

“I commend you for respecting your last king’s orders, however, I am king now and so I insist that you take a break now.” Thor says firmly.

Loki raises an eyebrow as the guards slowly march away, glancing over their shoulders every now and then.

“Can you shield us?” Thor demands as he taps the pane of glass to his left, allowing him entry to the chamber.

“If I had my magic.” Loki hints, wriggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Thor smiles and shakes his head.

“I am afraid not, brother.”

Loki tries not to look to put out and instead opts to take a step closer to Thor, almost squirming with happiness when he smells the familiar smell that reminds him of happier times.

“You smell like mead.” He whispers, so close now he can almost taste the alcohol on Thor’s breath.

“I was with Balder and the Warriors Three.” He explains.

There is a longing in Thor’s eyes that makes Loki want to scream. He wants Thor to touch him, to hold him and love him the way they used to. Thor goes to raise a hand but Loki shakes his head minutely.

“Heimdall.” He breathes. “I have no magic to protect us.”

Thor drops his hand and nods stiffly, his nose wrinkling unhappily.

“I needed to see you.” He answers to the question Loki was too afraid to ask.

“I want to touch you.” Loki retorts with a smirk. 

Thor grins and shakes his head.

“Forever the tease, Loki.”

Loki shrugs and steps away from Thor before he damns them all and touches him.

“I need to get out of here, brother.” Loki begs quietly. “I cannot take much more.”

Thor nods earnestly. 

“I am doing everything in my power to bring Mother onside but-”

“She will not help.” Loki says hollowly. “She has made that abundantly clear.”

Thor raises an eyebrow but says no more. There are so many unspoken words between them, so many apologies and declarations of love that Thor thinks he will never have enough time to explain everything to Loki.

“I will not leave you rot here.” He promises. “You will rule by my side.”

Loki laughs and gazes at Thor lovingly.

“I shall never fail to admire your obtuseness.”

Thor smiles softly and watches Loki carefully.

“As I shall never fail to admire your resilience and your ability to forgive me, even when I have done wrong.”

Loki nods stiffly and takes another step back, the air between them suddenly becoming much too warm.

“That is what Mother always told us, is it not? To forgive the ones we love?”

Thor swallows audibly and frowns at Loki.

“Do you still? After all the pain I have caused you, do you still love me?”

Loki hates the sudden change in atmosphere. He hates his sudden need to claw his way out of the cell because he hasn’t told Thor this in such a long time. He hasn’t told Thor since the fall of his beloved Avengers and Loki doesn’t want to do it now, not here, not in this cell. 

But Thor is looking at him as though he is the brightest of stars so Loki cannot help but nod.

“Of course.” He breathes so softly that Thor almost doesn’t hear him. “Of course I love you.”


	7. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. You guys really like this? haha.
> 
> Thank you for all the love and please keep sharing your thoughts and ideas with me! 
> 
> much love <3

They were young and they were in love and Loki never would have dared to hope that he could ever have been so happy. He had loved the secret kisses in dark corridors and the stolen touches in hidden alcoves. Thor had been his and his alone. 

But then something dark had gripped Loki, something that to this day, Loki cannot explain. He loved Thor and had told him as much almost every time they touched. Loki had always known that Thor would ascend to the throne; he had known it from a young age but that did not make it hurt any less when Odin announced that Thor would soon be king.

“You are of age, Thor.” Odin had declared one day at the dinner table. “Your day shall be upon us very soon.”

Thor had beamed, his face still slightly rounded from his bountiful youth. 

“That is most excellent, Father. I thank you.” He boomed, practically vibrating beside Loki.

Loki had felt numb, his cheeks blushing furiously as he kept his eyes on the piece of meat before him. He could feel Frigga’s eyes on his head, her gaze boring into him.

“Loki, you are most quiet.” She had pointed out gently.

“I don’t know what to say.” He had croaked, picking up his fork with a shaky hand.

“Congratulate your brother, perhaps?” she had urged. 

Loki had swallowed hard and slowly brought his gaze to meet Thor’s. Thor had watched him carefully, his blue eyes reflecting a deep kind of hurt that Loki had never wanted to see there. Loki had offered him a tight smile and a mocking bow.

“Congratulations, brother.”

Even Loki had been surprised by the amount of venom he could squeeze out of that one word. Brother. If they were not brothers then Loki would not feel like this. If Loki had not been raised all his life thinking that he too may have the throne then he would not think that his heart had stopped beating. 

“Thank you, Loki.” Thor had mumbled, the joy of the occasion long passed.

Loki had glanced at his mother and he knew she knew. She could see deep inside his soul. She understood the creature he truly was. 

 

.

 

“He has repented enough, Mother. He does not deserve to be locked in that horrible box any longer.” Thor explains, a frazzled look on his face.

Frigga continues to slice her meat delicately, her face carefully blank.

“He does not repent, Thor. He is even more bitter and jaded than before.”

Thor sighs loudly and runs a hand through his messily braided hair.

“Mother, Loki may be a lot of things but he is not foolish. He surely realizes that his repenting is what shall grant him his freedom. He is truly sorry for the blood he has spilled.” He insists.

Frigga clears her throat quietly and raises one eyebrow.

“And what about his acts against nature? The ones involving you?”

Thor blinks and feels the heat rise to his cheeks. He looks down at the meat and gravy before him and tries to think of an appropriate answer.

“Your silence is more than enough.” Frigga says with a sad smile. “He does not repent.”

“Neither do I.” Thor mumbles quietly. “I could never seek forgiveness for my love for Loki because I do not see it as a sin.”

Frigga nods slowly.

“That is the problem, my sweet and most beautiful son.”

 

.

 

Once the day of Thor’s coronation ceremony was announced, Thor had desperately searched the palace to seek out Loki. Crowds of people whom Thor did not know had tried to stop him, tried to congratulate him but Thor only wished to speak with Loki.

“Thor! Thor!” 

Thor had spun around to see his youngest brother, Balder, racing towards him, a bright smile on his face.

“Where are you going? Are you going on an adventure?” Balder had asked excitedly. 

Thor had glanced at him distractedly and forced himself to remember that there were years between them, Balder was still only a child.

“No. I am just going to find Loki.” He explained with a tight smile.

Balder continued to beam and stepped in beside Thor.

“I shall help you so.”

“No. There is no need.” Thor said quickly, desperate to shake off his youngest brother. “I wish to speak with him alone.”

“But-”

“Perhaps another time, Balder. Now run along, I must make haste.”

Thor had not even spared a glance for his younger brother as he raced along the stone corridor of the palace. Balder has stood there, watching him go, feeling more and more invisible.

 

.

 

“Thor needs you to understand.” Sif said quietly as they sat by one of Asgard’s most glorious lakes.

The light of the moons reflected beautifully off the navy waters. The stars above them shone bright and Sif could not help but wonder if Loki missed this. 

Balder exhales loudly beside her and fixes her with a level look.

“I cannot understand, Sif. I have tried but I do not understand how they could…” Balder’s voice trails away as he catches himself.

Sif does not know the extent of his brother’s love for one another. Balder wonders if she would understand, wonders if she would explain it to him.

“How they could what?” Sif urges, rolling on to her side so that she may see Balder better.

Balder exhales slowly and takes Sif’s hand in his own.

“Promise me that this will forever remain between us?”

“I promise.” Sif says quickly.

“Swear it on our first born?” 

Sif squeezes Balder’s hand and smiles.

“I swear it. What you tell me shall never go past my lips.”

Balder closes his eyes and takes a steadying breath.

“Thor and Loki, they… they have been lovers for as long as I can remember.” He whispers, his eyes remaining closed as he waits for Sif’s shrieks of disgust and outrage.

He is greeted by silence. He opens one eyes and see’s Sif watching him carefully.

“But they are brothers. They share the same blood.” She says slowly.

Balder nods.

Sif lets go of his hand and rolls onto her back, gazing up at the stars above her.

“They are your brothers.” She adds. “And regardless of how they love each other, you should love them too.”

Balder looks at her in shock.

“But-”

“But nothing. What Loki and Thor do or have done is irrelevant. This will pass, this confusion that you are feeling. But you are all princes of Asgard and leaders of the Nine Realms; a united front is essential.”

Balder shakes his head quickly.

“I hate them. I hate them both for what they have done to our family.”

Sif regards him carefully for a moment, a sad look in her eyes. 

“But you are destroying your family by locking one away and forbidding the other to see him. Thor is king and someday Loki shall rule by his side, whether we like it or not. You should support them, Balder, if you wish to have any family at all.”

 

.

 

Balder remembers finding them. 

Thor had been in a rush, insisting that he needed to find Loki. His coronation date had just been announced and Loki had not taken the news well. Balder can recall racing after Thor, asking if they could go on an adventure. Balder had always wanted to travel with his older brothers, even if Loki scared him. Balder had watched him go with a heavy heart. He was just about to turn around and go back to his chambers when Angerboda, his father’s healer, had stepped out of the shadows, a bright smile on his face.

“You should follow them. They are going to the lakes.” He had announced.

Balder had frowned up at him.

“How do you know?” he demanded rudely.

Angerboda tapped his nose and winked.

“I see things, my boy. Go to the lakes and convince them to take you on an adventure! They are always off frolicking together, aren’t they? It hardly seems fair.”

Balder had regarded him coolly for a moment before turning on his heel and tearing out of the palace, hoping he would catch up with Thor if he ran quick enough. He raced through the golden fields of barley and corn and tore up the hill that led to one of Asgard’s most majestic lakes. He paused for a rest when he reached the top of the hill, catching his breath, wondering if he should try sneaking up on his brothers. He would love to catch Loki off-guard and surprise him with his stealth.

Balder had dropped to crouch in the long grass and began to make his way towards the middle clearing where he could hear the low rumble of Thor’s voice. As he neared closer he began to still, catching pieces of the conversation.

“…it changes nothing…”

“…expected to take a wife! Where does that leave…”

“…truly believe I would forget you...”

“…to bear your child and what then…”

“…love you, brother, and no other could ever…”

Balder frowned as he tried to make sense of the conversation. He waited another moment as silence fell before getting to his feet. He slowly stood and gasped loudly as he saw his brother entwined in some sort of complicated embrace. He was frozen as Thor began to unlace Loki’s trousers; his slighter brother pushed up against a tree, clawing at Thor desperately, their mouths working against one another furiously. Balder tried to drag himself away as Thor pushed himself into Loki but his legs gave way. He collapsed to the ground, the horrible sounds and sights of the moment burning him. He made a loud choking sound and listened as Loki stopped moaning, demanding Thor do the same. The grass around him was long but not long enough to conceal him completely and he would never forget the moment Loki’s eyes met his. Balder understood in that moment that he was no brother of Loki’s.

“Balder.” Came Loki’s calm greeting as Thor desperately fumbled about, trying to right them both. “What have I told you about skulking about the shadows?”

Before Balder could answer, Loki had magicked himself right in front of him, his face white and pinched. He glared down at Balder with undisguised hatred. 

“People get upset when they see things they shouldn’t.” Loki continued. “They get confused about what they really saw. You saw nothing really, brother, did you?”

Balder opened his mouth but before he could get the words out Loki had grabbed him by the throat, squeezing threateningly.

“Nothing. You saw nothing.” He hissed, his face but inches from Balders and Balder can smell Thor off him.

“Loki! Loki, let him go!” Thor demanded, grabbing the darker brother around the waist and pulling him away from Balder.

Loki did so reluctantly, his green eyes shining dangerously. 

“If you so much as breathe a word to anyone, I shall cut your tongue out, shove it down your throat and watch you choke on it. Understood?”

Balder felt the tears burning the back of his eyes and looked at Thor pleadingly. Thor wouldn’t meet his gaze, one arm still wrapped around Loki’s waist and Balder quickly realized where his loyalties lay.

“I won’t tell a soul. I swear it.”


	8. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, life is being awful at the moment. Please read, comment and enjoy!

“If we could just grant him this one chance, his final chance Balder, then perhaps-”

“Do as you wish.” Balder interrupts suddenly.

Thor freezes where he is standing and looks at his younger brother unsurely.

“Pardon?”

Balder sighs and folds the scrolls in his hands neatly. He regards Thor calmly before offering him a small smile.

“Do as you wish, Thor. If you honestly, truly believe that freeing him is the answer; do it. You are king now. The chances of Father ever recovering are extremely slim. The kingdom is yours. Destroy it or rebuild it, I care not. You are king. The decision is yours and yours alone.” Balder states firmly.

Thor falls silent and Balder smirks knowingly.

“You were not expecting such an answer nor such responsibility. I trust you to do what is right, after all, you know Loki better than any of us.”

And there is such unkindness in that last sentence that Thor almost flinches. He watches Balder carefully before nodding slowly.

“I shall reflect and inform you once I have decided.”

“Do not bother.” Balder says quickly. “It is of no consequence to me.”

 

.

 

Balder lost his brothers, that day. The day he had discovered the true nature of their relationship, Loki had cut him off. He had tolerated him before, albeit in small doses. But afterwards he completely ignored him. Balder became even more invisible and unwanted and it drove him mad.

“Where are you going this time?” Balder had huffed as he watched Thor gather his belongings.

Thor had always been kinder to him, had always truly loved him and Balder had looked up to him. Because Thor was golden and great and warm. Balder loved him despite the fact that he knew Thor loved Loki in ways that no brother should. Sometimes, although Balder would hardly every admit to it now, he found that he was jealous of Loki. He was jealous of the fact that Loki spent so much time with Thor and that Thor held him in such high regard even though most of the kingdom held nothing but contempt for the darker prince. Thor had looked over his shoulder and smiled kindly at Balder.

“I am travelling to Vanaheim with Loki and the Warriors Three.”

“Can I come?” Was out of Balder’s mouth before Thor can draw another breath.

The eldest prince looked thoughtful as he regarded Balder with curious eyes. He goes to speak but falls silent when the door behind them opens. Balder did not need to turn to know that it was Loki that had entered the room. The magic and electricity in the air almost seemed to crackle as the princes locked gazes with one another. Balder could feel their tension and it had made him feel uncomfortable, especially when Loki laughed softly as he passed him, walking to Thor’s side.

“He is too young.” Loki had mocked, not even bothering to look at Balder when he spoke. “He would only slow us down.”

“You were not much older when you first begun to travel.” Balder had retorted hotly.

Loki had glanced at him for the briefest of seconds and yet Balder’s blood had run cold. He had taken a step back and looked at Thor fearfully. Thor had rolled his eyes and whispered something to Loki that Balder couldn’t catch. The darker prince had smirked before turning properly to face Balder, a passive look on his face.

“It is only an overnight trip. We need to make haste and you are not a skilled enough rider to keep with us. You would only hold us back.” Loki sniffed dismissively.

“But next time perhaps you will join us?” Thor had asked, a warm smile lighting his entire face. 

Balder had bitten back his beaming smile and bowed before his eldest brother.

“It would be an honour.” He had declared solemnly before turning on his heel and making to exit the room.

“Why would you get his hopes up like that?” He heard Loki tease as he pulled the door open.

“He is a boy, Loki and our brother. You have no reason to treat him with such hostility.” Thor had replied.

Balder had frowned at the sound of Loki’s laughter as he slowly closed the door.

“He is no brother of mine.” He heard him chuckle. “I am no relation to the sons of Odin.”

Balder just caught Thor’s sharp growl of “good” and Loki’s squeal of delight as the door shut behind him. A shiver ran down his spine as he stepped away from the door, images of that horrible day haunting his mind.

 

.

 

“I brought you some books.” Frigga announces as she steps into Loki’s cell.

“Oh joy.” Loki replies sarcastically, not even bothering to raise himself from his bed. 

Frigga sighs as she sits down in the only seat inside the bare room. She glances at Loki’s untouched trays of food and raises an eyebrow.

“Starving yourself won’t get you out of here any quicker.” She chides.

“Nothing shall get me out of here at all.” Loki points out. “So I may as well die.”

Frigga places the books by her feet and watches Loki as she carefully chooses her words. Despite everything he looks well. His skin was as flawless as ever, his hair was shining and healthy although a little wilder than usual. His eyes were bright and his lips were a pleasant pink. He did not look unwell, he looked rested. 

“I regret what I said to you the last time I visited.” She begins.

Loki snorts.

“I do not. I meant what I said; I need only say the word and Thor would slay you where you stand.”

Frigga raises one eyebrow.

“I have chosen not to believe such a thing for if you did wield as much power over Thor as you, I would slit your throat myself, no matter how much I love you.” She replies calmly. 

Loki turns his face to look at her and Frigga is amused to see that she has finally grabbed his attention.

“After a great deal of reflection I have decided that I forgive you. I forgive all your deeds and mishaps and wrongs. I know there are those who would call me a fool for such mercy but I have seen what pain it caused your father-”

“He is not my father!” Loki suddenly snaps, leaping forward from the bed. “He is nothing to me!”

Frigga sighs sadly and reaches out of Loki’s shaking hand.

“He is your father and loves you more than you could ever possibly understand. You have created chaos, Loki. You have hurt so many people and yet I forgive you because if I do not it shall tear this family apart.” She speaks softly.

Loki blinks back the tears of fury that threaten to fall and snatches his hand back, a furious look on his face.

“I do not need your forgiveness. I have done nothing wrong.”

“Loki-”

“No! No! I have only done what I have been told all my life I would do! I have only killed because I have been told that I am a killer, I only lied because I was labelled a liar and I loved Thor and none of you because he was the only one who never told me I was heartless!” Loki spits. “You knew that I would turn out this way, you saw it all those years ago and you did nothing to change it! It is your fault that I am here!”

Loki jumps to his feet and stalks across the cell, staring out at the other prisoners.

“I am surrounded by petty thieves and rapists, Mother. You care not for the lives I have taken, only the life that has chosen me. You only care for this involves Thor. If it did not, you would not be here.”

Frigga gets to her feet and makes her way to the edge of the cell, tapping on that pane of glass once again.

“I am growing weary of the same conversations, Loki. Thor shall free you and most probably soon. I can only hope that once you have left the insanity of this cell behind you that you can find it in your heart to forgive yourself.”

 

.

 

Balder had heard them arrive home before he actually saw them. Great commotion was coming from the hall as he raced down the corridor, desperate to see what was going on. The scene before him had been a terrifying one. Loki had drawn himself up to his full height and was attempting to tower over Odin as he screamed at him.

“I will not marry that sorceress bitch!” Loki had spat, a wild look in his eyes.

“You shall.” Odin had stated calmly. “You shall not shame me.”

Thor had been silent, his eyes downcast as he listened to Loki rant and rave about the many reasons that he could not and would not marry some woman called Sigyn. Balder had stepped out from behind the pillar that he had been hiding from and had looked at Thor with pitying eyes.

“This is good for you.” Balder had whispered as Frigga attempted to reason with Loki. “Now you can be free of him.”

Thor had looked down at him with the saddest of smiles and had patted him on his head.

“Someday you will understand why I shall never be free of Loki and why I would never want to be.”


End file.
